Conditions

I had worked at 6 different places so far. I was a student assistant, a coffee barista/waiter, a teller, a marketing assistant, a finance intern, and a financial analyst. Different companies, different teams, different roles.
For me, work places come in 2 categories. The first one is where your work is your family. You know most of the coworkers, you have good friends at work and you feel very comfortable and easy at work. I was lucky to experience that kind of environment. You get to find people who genuinely  care about you and make your work so much more enjoyable. You get to know people and their problems and share yours in return. You feel appreciated and supported there.
The second type is where you feel out of place. The company is nice and you get along with your colleagues, but there is something missing. You don't share much about yourself, because when you do people seem to misunderstand you and not care. However, the same people think that you should care about them and over-share a little bit too much. I call such workplaces- money fields, because I am there only for a salary. It is unfortunate that this happens. May be there is a disconnect between people's personalities and work environment.

It makes me appreciate a job where I feel like I am in a right place. Good supportive people at work make me overlook a small salary or long crazy hours. I still have a good feeling when I get home, and I am looking forward to go back to my office the next day.

I am starting a new life right now, and I am ready to take up any kind of work circumstances. However, I hope I will find my match in a long run. Good thing is- I know what to look for :)

update: my opinion has changed since then. I think you  just have different people at every job. There are mean, egoistical types and nice, warm people at every job place.  Ah, the wisdoms of experience.. 

Surprise

One time, about 10 years ago, I found an envelop with great drawings. The envelop was in one of those heavy, old, beginning-to-tear apart albums. I was even more surprised when my mom told me it was hers. My mom could draw some badass pictures, with colored pencils. There was Mowgli, running with a torch, there was Sheherazade dressed in beautiful Arabic dress.

I could never imagine that my mom could draw like that. I knew she used to play guitar and sing and was very popular in college, where guys would ask her to teach them guitar. I knew she could make play dough roses, stick them on naked branches and put them in vases as decorations. 

But it was hard to see that romantic, dreamy girl who was looking at me through those drawings in my Mom. Besides, she has a terrible handwriting that -fortunately for me-  was inherited by my brother. 

I have my dad's beautiful, neat handwriting, ability to write in different beautiful styles and absolute lack of drawing skills. 

And now, decades later, that drawing skill came back to surface. My brother draws wonderfully in a drawing app on iPhone. He, with his big fingers, tracing correct smooth lines on a relatively small surface of iPhone 4S. He makes very few mistakes and I can almost see how he thinks. I love it.

February 29, 2012

After looking back at  this post about flat belly, I decided to post an update. I managed to get a flat belly. I am currently in the best shape of my life since I was 18. And I eat everything I want.
My secret is - running. I started a program to increase the mileage, and I've been running about 10-13 miles a week. It's a lot for me.

However, I didn't expect to get my foot so injured that it would hurt to walk, not to mention run.

Today the pain was so strong, I had to slow down my pace. When I walk, I step on the outside of my foot, which is hurting now too. After consulting my doctor, the Internet, I know it is metatarsalgia. I know exactly how and when I got it. It was last year, from my stupid high-heel boots. They were the only presentable winter footwear that I could wear to work. It took me several months to heal that pain. And it took one day of wearing heels a month ago to bring the pain back.
This time I ignored the pain and kept to my weekly running routine. Until today. After the articles and videos my "doctor' showed me, I decided to give my feet some rest.
I don't want the pain to get worse and with the increased mileage and all.... it's just better to wait a little.
I do want to start walking normally again, not thinking how to angle my foot every time I make a step.
Big sigh......

I am still going to work on elliptical machines

P.S. Today managed to be different

5 Days

I have only 5....well 4 days left here. My suitcase is almost packed and I am more than ready to go. I am happy and sad at the same time. Happy that this part of my life will be behind me; sad because I will miss a certain man. Just a thought about missing him makes my eyes wet.
I have hope, deep down, that one day he will live close by and I will see him more often. For now, he stays behind and I know it's his life and his choice, but I will keep worrying about him nevertheless.

This trip has been so painful and meaningful for me and 2 other women. It helped to make a very difficult decision and I hope I will remember these days in the future.

But now, I need to make a few small choices about which clothes to pack and which to throw away :)
And eat more pastries :)

Saturday

We wake up late - it is weekend for him. Lazily, we each go brush teeth and come back to bed to cuddle. We have breakfast and cuddle some more. Today's plan is shopping for the dress in the mall with 2 phases (whatever that means).

We dress up and head out. It's hot. We walk around the mall, finding new, unvisited and very expensive stores. We finally find ZARA and I dive in it's feminine dresses, skirts and blouses. I see that some women who shop there, already wear some items from Spring/Summer collection. I make notes of how they wear this skirt and that blouse. It's interesting to see the clothes on the racks and then on live ordinary models.

I grab several dresses and go try them on. I put the first one on- it's tight, with no zippers or buttons. 3 minutes later I am freaking out because I cannot take that dress off. Im thinking to call someone to help me pull that thing off of me. I take a break, calm down and get out of that dress. I realize all the items I took, are in size Small, and I am probably Medium. Whatever. I risk trying them all. And then go out and get Medium sizes. After many hesitations, and sms to my mom, I finally choose and buy my dress.

We check out some more stores and I buy some more stuff. Stuff, that will turn into a heavy burden for my check in luggage in 2 months. 

We have lunch at a Japanese restaurant and head back home. 

We watch our favorite TV show, relaxing at home. We go down to our small gym and jog/run for 30 min. Come back home and make a fresh fruit smoothie. 

We take showers and put on lotions. We cuddle some more and watch some more of our fav TV shows.

Life is getting back to normal- our usual routine of doing everything together. 

How it started (part III)

Read about Part II here
Read about Part I here

We live in the house he built in the North East Huntsville- nice neighborhood. I work as a student assistant at the Office of International Programs and Services- the same people who hosted me when I was there on a sponsored program- people who became my American family.  I change my major from Sociology to Finance and do better at school. I find a paid internship at Scottsboro and since I have a car now, I work there every other semester.  I can finally pay myself for my education and give my mom a financial break.

In 2007, I get in a car accident- my car is totaled and the guy who hit me doesn’t even have his driving license.  My boyfriend starts teaching me how to drive  his stick shift truck.  After a couple of nervous and teary months, I feel somewhat confident driving on my own.

I graduate in May 2008, Magna Cum Laude (hell yeah all this work!), and my mom gets to come to my commencement ceremony. We travel to Mobile, AL and Chicago, IL to show my mom some of America.

We decide, that since she is here, we can go ahead and get married and have a wedding. And so we do it on August 29^th, 2008.  My best friend from back home who now lives in NY flies in to attend my wedding.

In September, we go to NY to see my mom off. We come back and I start my new job- Teller at Wachovia bank.  According to F-1 visa rules, I get to work for a year (as optional practical training) after my graduation.

Life is getting better, but I am still an "alien" and I cannot change my status until I fulfill my 2YHRR. We make a decision that its better for me to go home than stay in the States illegally. My husband starts looking for a job overseas or in DC to be closer to embassies and make international travel easier.  He finds a job in Kuwait and we start planning our unknown future. We sell our house, quit our jobs, pack our belongings and go to his parent’s town.  From there, he goes to his pre-departure orientation in Fort Benning and I go to Atlanta airport to fly back home. 

How it started (part II)

Read about part I here

There are about 500 of us from all of the countries of former Soviet Union. We have introduction seminars in DC. We live in dorms, have cultural programs, have fun and try to stay awake during the seminars after yet another sleepless night. We are divided into teams and I make friends with Russian, Ukrainian, Kazakh and many other students.- we are Purple. After a week or so we all fly out to our Universities.

I find out that together with me there will be two guys who will study at UAH- Kirill (from Kirgyzstan) and Yura (from Ukrain). We become really good friends and help each other as much as we can.  We stay in touch to this day. I flew to India in 2010, to attend Kirill’s wedding, and I hope I can visit Ukrain and meet Yura’s wife and kid one day.

The USA is not what we imagined- it is so much more. Everything is so different- the weather, trees, people, air, roads, classes, teacher-student relationships.  Plus, there is this American English that is very hard to understand - I don’t know the colloquial speech because we learnt “proper  (book) English”. In 3-4 months I will know what “cool, awesome, what are you up to?” mean, but at first it was really difficult to communicate with fellow American students. I am having a cultural shock during the first 2 months.

There are many cultural events for freshmen at the University and I sign up to read Russian poetry at one of them.  About an hour before the event I change my mind and go to the organizers to tell them I will not participate in the program. That is when I meet Him. He asks me about my smoothies and guesses right about the flavor (raspberry), he looks at my book and asks some  random questions.  I end up reading a little bit of Pushkin’s “Ruslan and Lyudmila” and managing to give Him my phone number in the end of the event.

I really want to be with this guy. This is the first time I have these warm fuzzy feelings towards anyone. In about a month we start dating.

In the back of my mind I know that in May, after my finals, I will go home and probably will never see this guy again. But right now I am here, in the States and I am enjoying my time.

The year flies buy. Although my school is so-so, I get to see New York, Virginia, Florida, California and Tennessee. I meet lots of great people and make good friends.

Our program coordinators tell us that we can stay another fortnight in the States if we find a place to live because the dorms will be closed.  He proposes to stay at his apartment- I agree.  Since he is working in Birmingham, I spend most of the evenings with his roommate, who is a pretty cool guy. My boyfriend tries to come home every evening, which means he has to wake up super early and drive back to Birmingham.    

Our last night together is very sad. We sleep in each other’s arms. The moment I step into the corridor to the plane, I start crying. In Frankfurt airport- our transit stop- I see Him in every guy. I have a naïve hope that may be he flew after me and we will meet for the last time here, in Frankfurt.  I cry the whole flight back home – I can’t believe I will not see him again.

Back home everything has changed.  My house, trees, smells, roads – are not how I remember them to be. I have a common re-entry culture shock.  I rarely go out and only with people who have been to the States like me.

My relatives come to my house to visit me and I get a call from Him. I come out with red eyes and go straight into the kitchen to help dad. My dad understands me, he says I will always remember my first love.

 I get a job at the local tour-operating firm as a marketing assistant.

We keep in touch, He calls me, and we email each other.  One day he asks me if I want to come back to finish school there.  After the bureaucratic paperwork, He mails me the necessary documents and I go to the U.S. Embassy and get my visa. My 2YHRR (Two year home residence requirement) allows me to apply for a non-immigrant visa, like F-1 student visa.  I buy the ticket the same day, and within two days I am boarding my plane back to the States. 

He meets me in Nashville and helps out at the beginning; He’s still working in Birmingham.

I move in with a friend of mine- our apartment is close to UAH; I see Him only on weekends. In a year, I learn to drive and buy my first car and move in with Him.

How it started (part I)

Fall 2002. I am a sophomore at the Samarkand State Institute of Foreign Languages, majoring in English Linguistics with French minor- I have a full state scholarship and my education is not only free- I get monthly stipend depending on the quality of my grades (GPA: 3.89).  In addition to 6-8 classes per semester, I take extra English and French classes four times a week. I live with my dad and brother and life is very busy but sweet.

I am applying for this exchange program for the third time.  I write 3 essays, attach 2 recommendations in closed envelopes and submit my grades; I pray, as this is the last time I can apply for this.

In about 2 months I get a reply that I passed this “1^st round” and I am invited for an interview and a preliminary TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language)

In another month, they call me to invite me to the real TOEFL test – I have passed “2^nd round”

Around late spring, I know that my TOEFL results were good – I passed the “3^rd round” and I am going to Huntsville, AL. For the whole academic year I will study in the University of Alabama in Huntsville. I will receive money for books and monthly stipend. My dorm, food and classes are paid by the US State Department.

I am one of the 3 girls from my city, and one of the 13 students from Uzbekistan who will participate in this program in 2003-2004. It’s mind blowing for a geeky girl like me who never lived away from her parents.

Right before we say good-bye to our parents who come to see us off  – we are asked to sign this paper- just a formality. It has 2pages- and it has our name and how much money will be spent on each of us. In also has a box ‘subject to two-year residence requirement based on – Government funding’

 We are asked to read it thru and everyone notices this passage on the back about our physical presence in our country of origin after the program completion. We cannot apply for an immigrant visa until we spend 2 years in our home country, even if we get married to a US citizen or give birth to a US citizen.

I easily sign this form- I am not planning on staying in the USA – it’s just a year full of fun, where everything (or mostly everything) is paid for. After the completion of the program I plan to come back to my home University and get my B.S. degree in English Philology 

May 14

It's Saturday evening and my men went to a party. I made myself zucchini salad and  sat down watching a stupid movie on TV. In about 3 weeks, on a Saturday evening, I will be with my Man (hopefully eating sushi).

I will miss being around my dad and brother, watching them come home from work, take shower and ask me to iron their fancy shirts; spray good smelling stuff and tell me they will not be long.

To cheer myself up, I am browsing cute websites and dream about decorating our future new home.

 I hope we can have something cute like this (from ShaNickers on etsy)