Sesamoid Fracture

About a year ago, I had to stop running because of a strong pain in my right foot. It would only hurt when I stepped on my foot. We lived in the center of Cambridge, MA, so I walked everywhere or used public transport. In the evenings or on the weekends, my foot hurt less. Still, I would step on the outside of my foot to avoid any pain. Needless to say, I couldn't really do anything, because even a simple trip to the grocery store, where you walk around looking for products, caused me pain.

I thought it was metatarsalgia and waited for my foot to heal on it own. I had a similar problem before, after wearing high heel winter boots. And the pain went away after I switched to sandals and ballet shoes in spring/summer. I was hoping the same would happen now.

Well, the pain was still there after 3 months of no physical activity besides walking. So, in July 2012 I went to see a podiatrist. After a quick X-ray he told me I had a sesamoid fracture and put me in a walking boot and prescribed non-steroidal anti-inflammatory pills like ic naproxen. The walking boot was sometimes painful, sometimes annoying, but I did eventually figure out how to use it to my advantage. I only wore it when going outside (I walked barefoot at home)

After 5 months in the boot, I went back to see the doctor. He took new x-ray pictures and compared them to the old ones. Even without comparing them, you could see that my sesamoid bone was still fractured. He wanted to take MRI screens to see what's going on inside my foot. I could't do that at the time because of my work situation (I was about to loose my job and medical insurance and didn't want to have to pay for MRI out of the pocket)
So, I kept wearing my boot and taking lost of calcium and trying other homeopathic treatments.
And then I lost my job and we moved to Texas. And since we usually drove everywhere, the walking boot became very uncomfortable. It actually hurt my foot if I sat in it for a long time. So, I decided to stop wearing it and instead wore my ECCO shoes that had a small heel but also had an arch support, and felt good on my foot. It was all good for a while, until it started to hurt again. I am not sure what exactly triggered it. I assume my fracture hasn't healed one bit, and it's all very understandable (knowing how little I helped it to heal), and frustrating.

I read so much about sesamoid fractures online. I know it takes a long time to heal and I know many people eventually get a surgery. I tried warm/cold baths and icing- but they make my foot hurt even more.

The next thing for me will be to get MRI and may be some orthotics. In a meanwhile, I do some cycling, some weights and try to take it easy on my right foot and feel jealous when I see people running in the streets or doing planks or downward dogs.

Balance

How do you find balance between being knowledgeable and not coming across as arrogant. Or how do you open up without revealing too much. How can you be honest and truthful without being hurtful and mean.

I find that there are people who know what to say and do in every situation. It's like they are very wise, proper humans. And then there are people like me who panic and not know what to say or do on the spot, but come up with great solutions hours or days after the incident. 

Conditions

I had worked at 6 different places so far. I was a student assistant, a coffee barista/waiter, a teller, a marketing assistant, a finance intern, and a financial analyst. Different companies, different teams, different roles.
For me, work places come in 2 categories. The first one is where your work is your family. You know most of the coworkers, you have good friends at work and you feel very comfortable and easy at work. I was lucky to experience that kind of environment. You get to find people who genuinely  care about you and make your work so much more enjoyable. You get to know people and their problems and share yours in return. You feel appreciated and supported there.
The second type is where you feel out of place. The company is nice and you get along with your colleagues, but there is something missing. You don't share much about yourself, because when you do people seem to misunderstand you and not care. However, the same people think that you should care about them and over-share a little bit too much. I call such workplaces- money fields, because I am there only for a salary. It is unfortunate that this happens. May be there is a disconnect between people's personalities and work environment.

It makes me appreciate a job where I feel like I am in a right place. Good supportive people at work make me overlook a small salary or long crazy hours. I still have a good feeling when I get home, and I am looking forward to go back to my office the next day.

I am starting a new life right now, and I am ready to take up any kind of work circumstances. However, I hope I will find my match in a long run. Good thing is- I know what to look for :)

update: my opinion has changed since then. I think you  just have different people at every job. There are mean, egoistical types and nice, warm people at every job place.  Ah, the wisdoms of experience.. 

Surprise

One time, about 10 years ago, I found an envelop with great drawings. The envelop was in one of those heavy, old, beginning-to-tear apart albums. I was even more surprised when my mom told me it was hers. My mom could draw some badass pictures, with colored pencils. There was Mowgli, running with a torch, there was Sheherazade dressed in beautiful Arabic dress.

I could never imagine that my mom could draw like that. I knew she used to play guitar and sing and was very popular in college, where guys would ask her to teach them guitar. I knew she could make play dough roses, stick them on naked branches and put them in vases as decorations. 

But it was hard to see that romantic, dreamy girl who was looking at me through those drawings in my Mom. Besides, she has a terrible handwriting that -fortunately for me-  was inherited by my brother. 

I have my dad's beautiful, neat handwriting, ability to write in different beautiful styles and absolute lack of drawing skills. 

And now, decades later, that drawing skill came back to surface. My brother draws wonderfully in a drawing app on iPhone. He, with his big fingers, tracing correct smooth lines on a relatively small surface of iPhone 4S. He makes very few mistakes and I can almost see how he thinks. I love it.

March 1, 2012

I know, I am so creative with the titles of my entries...

So, since I can't jump around burning calories now- it's time to evaluate my consumption of "evil" sweets.
I still want cakes and cupcakes and pastry, but I'll try and restrain myself. Instead, I will eat this

Marina, from Raw in Russian has a wonderful site with beautiful pictures and recipes. So far I have tried only this one and it was great. Very tasty.

February 29, 2012

After looking back at  this post about flat belly, I decided to post an update. I managed to get a flat belly. I am currently in the best shape of my life since I was 18. And I eat everything I want.
My secret is - running. I started a program to increase the mileage, and I've been running about 10-13 miles a week. It's a lot for me.

However, I didn't expect to get my foot so injured that it would hurt to walk, not to mention run.

Today the pain was so strong, I had to slow down my pace. When I walk, I step on the outside of my foot, which is hurting now too. After consulting my doctor, the Internet, I know it is metatarsalgia. I know exactly how and when I got it. It was last year, from my stupid high-heel boots. They were the only presentable winter footwear that I could wear to work. It took me several months to heal that pain. And it took one day of wearing heels a month ago to bring the pain back.
This time I ignored the pain and kept to my weekly running routine. Until today. After the articles and videos my "doctor' showed me, I decided to give my feet some rest.
I don't want the pain to get worse and with the increased mileage and all.... it's just better to wait a little.
I do want to start walking normally again, not thinking how to angle my foot every time I make a step.
Big sigh......

I am still going to work on elliptical machines

P.S. Today managed to be different

Tale

I need to buy this print when I get back to the States. It's so magical and makes me feel peaceful, dreamy, happy :)
 More here thefiligree